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I don't know if you have discovered that when you care about a person, the easier it is to move to the other side when there is a contradiction, and then in the repeated concessions and compromises, slowly the principle and the bottom line are drawn. The lower the final, the more hats that will be deducted.
In fact, almost every relationship can't be smooth, quarrel is inevitable, but you want to be reasonable in the quarrel, the sentence is tied to the other's pain points, and does not hurt the feelings between you, this needs to have The plan is going on.
First, build the bottom line of self-principal
When the relationship begins to develop, you must first say your bottom line, what kind of things can be done, and what kind of things can never be done. The rules and regulations of these bottom lines must be clearly listed. What do I want to talk about? Kind of love, what kind of partner do I want, what can I give you in the process of love, what can't be given to you, all of which must be understood.
Once the other party touches your bottom line, if you don't give punishment in time, then the bottom line you said before will be ignored by the other party, and even will come to challenge your bottom line one after another, just like the child crying for the first time you give him sugar. The same, then he will be worse.
Second, how to let the other party feel your principle
Give value first, then make a punishment system, just like you work in a company. Once you break the rules, you are faced with unemployment and salary reduction. In the same way, you need to let the other person get used to the value supply, because inertia will change. In the original way of thinking, when your mode of getting along has a habit to do it, your existence will become important in the psychology of the other party, and the risk of losing you will also increase, so the intensity of punishment will also be Will be enhanced.